North Korea: a blogshell

Right. What follows is a decidedly stark change from our usual broadcasting here on evilboss.co.uk, but one that is probably more important than every single post of ours combined. scar3dycat and I (The Kap’n) have managed to make contact, through methods we won’t discuss here, with someone from North Korea, actually talking to us from inside the DPRK – an incredibly rare opportunity for us, and dangerous one for our contact. If you know even a little about North Korea, you’ll understand why this is the case.

If you don’t know about the current situation in the DPRK, you need to. Here are two links and a YouTube video to help you wise up:

Wikipedia – North Korea
CIA Factbook – North Korea
YouTube Video: N. Korea 60th Anniversary

So, I can now assume that you, I hope, understand how much of a risk this person was taking in speaking to us. As such, precautions have been taken:

1) We’ll refer to our contact as ‘X’
2) At one point, we spent some time ascertaining exactly how ‘X’ gained access to the internet, given the considerable informational blockade in the DPRK. Obviously, we suspected a troll. We can’t post the explanation here, as that might compromise ‘X’. Yes, North authorities reading this blog is unlikely, but there is no point in taking the risk.
3) We won’t post the times this conversation took place.

The conversation was startling. Here it is, with a few explanations from scar3dycat and I as it progresses:

The log will begin after the crease, followed by some observations.

scar3dycat:
This is my friend The Kap’n.

The Kap’n:
hello

X:
hi
what me talk?
a-
to me talk?

X:

who is scar3dycat
I’m he and a first meeting
message came sudden

The Kap’n:
oh
erm, he’s my friend – we are interested in DPRK
and Juche ideal

(‘Juche’ is an ideal of self-reliance, a political ideology pretty much unique to the DPRK. It has quite literally ruined their economy. Look it up.)

X:
Juche?

scar3dycat:
songun

(‘Songun’ is the ‘military first’ policy the DPRK leadership is obsessed with; all it amounts to is precious state capital going straight back into more armed forces the country can’t afford.)

X:
what juche
em
emperor?

The Kap’n:
i’m not sure if this is right

(The Kap’n managed to find and copypaste the Korean for “Juche” from Wikipedia)

X:
oh i know
Politics doesn’t go in the direction thought that all are correct and this conduct oneself is also the same as it.
Is English correct
he might also understand the mistake
he is obstinate
right?
It is not flexible in this country.
(Flexible meaning free/freedom)
ok?

The Kap’n:
oh, i understand

X:
another?

scar3dycat:
it’s okay
don’t worry

X:
what I can speak is spoken though thinks it is few
(“X” is saying that these viewpoints are put forward by very few people, it seems)

scar3dycat:
tell us about Kim Jong Il

X:
a-
country out
a
a..

scar3dycat:
What is he like?

X:
It doesn’t know what whether to be said outside the country
(‘X’ is clearly worried about what to say to a foreigner.)

scar3dycat:
You can say anything.
You’re anonymous.

The Kap’n:
nobody will know who you are

X:
i like no he
(‘X’ could be shot for this.)
a we do not like
i don’t know news out side the country

(Media in North Korea is heavily regulated by the state. Radios are sealed to one frequency and listening to outside broadcasts can be punished by hard labour or death – usually death. Those lucky few with access to a television can only watch the official state-sanctioned propaganda channels, who have been shown to purposefully twist the truth, if not outright lie, to keep the population under control. For example, in the earlier years of the regime, they showed videos of protests in the South to demonstrate how life beyond the DMZ was chaotic and unpleasant. The broadcast was deliberately edited to be grainy and poor-quality, to prevent the population from seeing the well-fed people, cars and the lights on in homes.)

(There’s an interesting article on DPRK state brainwashing here: http://www.reuters.com/article/worldNews/idUSTRE5601XL20090701)

we dont know his thing well oky?
a.
usa everyone might know

scar3dycat:
Why don’t you like Kim Jong Il?
What does he do?

The Kap’n:
What do you think of the USA?

X:
a-
herro?
hero?
a- obsite country
made flexible usa

(This is perhaps speculation, but me and The Kap’n genuinely believe this means that the U.S.A could make North Korea ‘free’ in X’s opinion…)

The Kap’n:
obsite?

X:
a…
he is obstinate
kim

(Another very, very dangerous thing to say about the Dear Leader.)

The Kap’n:
oh
kim is obstinate?

X:
obstinate

scar3dycat:
ohhhhhh

The Kap’n:
i understand

scar3dycat:
Are you scared of him?

X:
this is result country
a..
nation?
Restraint?

The Kap’n:
oh

X:
scareslt

The Kap’n:
restrained by being scared?

X:
nation scared
police?
force

The Kap’n:
the police make nation scared?
with force?

X:
forces manage us
me?
me

scar3dycat:
And you live in North Korea at the moment?

The Kap’n:
are you scared?

X:
yes
far north korea

The Kap’n:
i see

X:
a-
country manages
us
country manages us

The Kap’n:
i understand

X:
ok?

The Kap’n:
yes

X:
me scared
manage
what eat,what bet in time, not freedom

(The DPRK maintains utter control over the lives of their citizens; ‘X’ here is saying how rations and sleeping, through a system of centralised distribution and probably curfew, is regulated by the state.)

The Kap’n:
bet in time?

X:
a
sory bed
ok?

The Kap’n:
oh, i see
yes

X:
sory i easy english

The Kap’n:
It’s okay!

X:
i know easy english

The Kap’n:
yeah
Is it hard to get food?

X:
no get food
it’s given
food given

The Kap’n:
how often?
how long between when it’s given?

X:
few

(North Korea has been in a constant state of food shortage and/or famine for years, and has lately refused to accept foreign aid. Moreover, the North has continued with their nuclear program despite the U.N withholding food aid as a sanction. Again, ‘military first’ places the country’s offensive capability above the well-being of its citizens.)

The Kap’n:
are you often hungry?

X:
few short time
appetite?

The Kap’n:
I think I understand

X:
always hungry peaple not Survival

The Kap’n:
do people die?

X:
it’s so

(Though ‘X’ doesn’t specify how much, it’s clear that people are still dying of starvation…)

The Kap’n:
is there any way that the West could help?

X:
a
i says many though

The Kap’n:
that’s okay

X:
he obstinacy
it might be a street up to now

The Kap’n:
I don’t understand – a street?

X:
a-
same as now?

The Kap’n:
so he’s just as obstinate now?

X:
…
chnge

The Kap’n:
oh
how can we make change?

X:
doesn’t change

The Kap’n:
can we help?

X:
he obstinate

The Kap’n:
i understand

X:
obsitinate change. not country change
a-
He changes = country change

(Kim Jong Il clearly holds the key to fixing this mess, but he’s too damn stubborn to do so. That, and the ‘Juche’ ideal fostered by his father, Kim’s obsession, has created a nation with few noteworthy allies – and none really capable of helping the DPRK.)

The Kap’n:
oh!

X:
ok?

The Kap’n:
so he needs to be gone

X:
so

(That could mean ‘yes’. We think it does. Saying ‘so’, or ‘it’s so’ is quite an old fashioned way of stating the affirmative, which actually makes sense, given the dated English the closed-off DPRK would be teaching.)

The Kap’n:
is there any way we can help make him go?

X:
you are more detailed
perhaps
we know surroundings
and rule

The Kap’n:
surroundings?

X:
korea situation

The Kap’n:
oh, i understand

X:
idont know korea situation
we
we dont know

(scar3dycat – I think ‘X’ is discussing the lack of knowledge of the whereabouts of the Dear Leader at any one point.)
(The Kap’n – On the contrary, I believe that ‘X’ is stating that on the whole, the populace do not know of the goings on in North Korea)

The Kap’n:
i understand

X:
only some men who are his surroundings know

(scar3dycat – It follows, then, that only Kim’s bodyguards know where he is.)
(The Kap’n – only Kim Jong Il and his close personnel do.)

The Kap’n:
i understand

X:
i know news
festival news

(Arirang, the last mass games, was held around August-time)

military affairs?
misile
missile?

The Kap’n:
oh
taepodong?

(The Taepodong-2 missile is the latest, greatest effort by North Korea to produce a viable ICBM with which to arm with the nuclear warheads they are producing. On April 5th, 2009, North Korea launched one of these missiles to allegedly deliver the satellite “Kwangmyŏngsŏng-2″ to orbit to “broadcast revolutionary songs”. However, the first stage was seen to drop into the Sea of Japan, and the second and third stages failed to separate and fell into the Pacific Ocean 2,390 miles from the launch site.)

——————————–
RELATED ARTICLES:
Taepodong-2 specifications: http://www.globalsecurity.org/wmd/world/dprk/td-2-specs.htm
Rocket launch:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/asia-pacific/7982874.stm
Details of the rocket failure:
http://spaceflightnow.com/news/n0904/10northkorea/
——————————–
—————————————————————-

X:
misle
oh
so that

The Kap’n:
yes
it fell over sea by japan

X:
It doesn’t know in detail
do you know that news

The Kap’n:
yes
korea told the west that it was in outer space
we saw it fall into the ocean

X:
!?

The Kap’n:
yes
it fell into the sea

X:
it knew now

The Kap’n:
did you not know before?

X:
yes
because it wen to space
they say that
they had come be able to do something

The Kap’n:
it fell into the sea – failed

X:
oh

The Kap’n:
no missiles in space from north korea

X:
it’s certain?

(‘X’ hasn’t got a clue because the government wouldn’t dare admit its failure with the project.)

The Kap’n:
yes

X:
they say gone space misle

The Kap’n:
they are lying

X:
scar3dycat after pc? (“X” uses “after” to convey the idea of having left.)

(scar3dycat – It figures that at this exact point in time, my internet decided to cut out. After twenty minutes of screaming and kicking my wireless hub, I gave up and went to bed. What follows is the conversation between ‘X’ and The Kap’n, which I caught up on in the morning.)

The Kap’n:
he went, i don’t know what happened

X:
ok

The Kap’n:
I should say
you have friends in the west

X:
however it’s already slow in that time

X:
it is will be changeable next year
and might be toolate (This refers to next year possibly being too late for change. There is an extremely strong possibility of the DPRK falling into the same sort of famine crisis as the world saw in 1997. As the losses peaked at, according to a report from the North Korean Public Security Ministry, 3 million. However, as these figures come from the DPRK regime, let’s assume that they are VERY VERY CONSERVATIVE – if not outright fabrications.)

The Kap’n:
oh

X:
it might be not significant
as long as he doesn’t change

The Kap’n:
we heard that he has cancer
and is frail
he may die
it’s possible

RELATED ARTICLE: http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2009/jul/13/kim-jong-il-cancer

X:
however
there is his son
or
family

RELATED ARTICLE: Kim Jong Il’s son, Kim Jong-Un has been announced his successor:
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/news/world/asia/article6412255.ece

The Kap’n:
we heard his son was in japan
there were pictures

(The Kap’n: I got the wrong son.)

X:
i dont his thing well
(X uses “thing” to mean “affairs”, and “surroundings” to mean those around them)

The Kap’n:
i don’t understand

X:
his surroundings might know

The Kap’n:
oh
i understand

X:
perhaps

The Kap’n:
i hope that he changes

X:
you know the thing of this country than me

The Kap’n:
it is often in the news here
but never from the general person
like you
only guesses

X:
what guesses?

The Kap’n:
like
when the pictures of kim’s son came out
that was two years ago
we don’t know any more
i forgot to ask,
are you safe to talk with me about this?
are they watching?

(We seriously should have asked this sooner…)

X:
a
this pc

The Kap’n:
yes, is it safe?

X:
it got it from grand poobah
(Note: for those that don’t know, “grand poobah” is a derogatory term for someone higher up than you sourced from a Gilbert & Sullivan production, “The Mikado”, probably the last kind of English slang these people ever heard – It’s still used, but lots of people are “HUH” about it.)

The Kap’n:
do you know if the state are watching?

X:
perhaps they do not know what i am doing

(We really, really fucking hope so.)

The Kap’n:
i hope so
i hope you will be safe

X:
thanks
rich people
rich people is to son make

The Kap’n:
i don’t understand

X:
child make
do not have money woman
make child to rich people

The Kap’n:
oh (I couldn’t really say much more here, I was shocked.)

X:
that time is this pc

The Kap’n:
i think i understand
oh

X:
a…
rich man
give me pc

The Kap’n:
i understand

X:
given?

The Kap’n:
yeah

X:
korea is few peapole
sory people

The Kap’n:
it’s okay!

X:
if i have pc and there is no money

The Kap’n:
i don’t understand
if you have pc, but there is no money… then?

X:
that much
Even with pc, it is not affluent

The Kap’n:
oh, i understand

X:
that’s ok?

The Kap’n:
yes, i understand

X:
this pc given rich man

The Kap’n:
so, you have a pc, but still no money

X:
yes
there a thing that know?

(‘X’ seems eager to get the message out.)

The Kap’n:
know what?

X:
what you want to learn

The Kap’n:
when you work, how much money are you given?
any?

X:
i given money

The Kap’n:
how much?

X:
it is at a part that can get it

The Kap’n:
I don’t understand?
you can’t get it?

X:
we have been made the best use of by them

The Kap’n:
they make you work hard? not much money for it?

X:
working is an obligation
given money

(We are dealing with a communist country, remember.)

The Kap’n:
i understand

X:
work given food

The Kap’n:
i understand
how old are you?

(DELETED FOR SECURITY REASONS: NEEDLESS TO SAY, RATHER YOUNG: BUT NOT A CHILD)

X:
It that only has to change when becoming your age is hoped for

The Kap’n:
i hope so too
is there anything you want to know about the west?
(Thanks to zebra for giving me something to say, as I was dumbfounded.)

X:
i doesn’t under stand what is different

The Kap’n:
work isn’t an obligation , there are choices
food is everywhere (I couldn’t really explain this better.)
freedom?

X:
all?
all peapole freedom?

The Kap’n:
yes
everyone
(Although this is debatable, compared to the DPRK…)
we try to help the poor
give them food
money

X:
after that?

The Kap’n:
we try to help them get jobs
so that they can help themselves
there is free health in some countries
in england
france, canada
they have free doctors
and surgeons
you can say anything you like
the police don’t try to control

X:
what is surgeons?
i dont know ward

The Kap’n:
doctors that operate
er, when they open up the sick person’s body
if you understand

(scar3dycat – NICE EXPLANATION.)
(The Kap’n – It was the best myself and Zebra could come up with. D:)

X:
open body?

The Kap’n:
yes

X:
why?

The Kap’n:
to fix problems inside

X:
problems?

The Kap’n:
erm, like
heart problems
removing infections from within

X:
i do not have can understanding
(Very different from DPRK propaganda)
not drag?
(I assumed this meant drugs – possibly not)

The Kap’n:
only when drugs don’t work

X:
? ican not understanding

The Kap’n:
oh, something different then
our news
it tells us everything it can
even things against the state
are you okay?

X:
ok

The Kap’n:
oh
good
i was worried

X:
In that, is it cold?

The Kap’n:
in england?

X:
yes

The Kap’n:
sometimes
at the moment, it is warm

X:
same

The Kap’n:
i am very tired

X:
ok
you sreepiing?

The Kap’n:
i will soon

X:
slee
ok
bye

The Kap’n:
bye
i will try to help
i hope you stay safe

———–LOG ENDS———–

As you can see, as a rare glimpse into the blackout that is North Korea, this was incredible, and we’re still amazed that this opportunity came up. We do have a lot of information from defectors, but talking to someone still living in the state is crazy. Again, we can’t explain how we got through to ‘X’ in the first place, but suffice to say, the odds of it happening were slim indeed.

Of course, we can anticipate the criticism that’s going to arise from this post – obviously, people are going to call this a fabrication, an attention-seeker duping us, etc – and so prospectively: whatever. There are two factors we take into consideration when judging the validity of something like this: firstly, the advantage gained through deception, and secondly, the capability of the source. Considering ‘X’ didn’t stand to gain anything by pretending to be a citizen of North Korea to a couple of English men, and would know full well the conditions they were living in, we place our belief in the authenticity of this conversation. Certainly, the way ‘X’ spoke (look at the ‘grand poobah’ slang) was the sort of dated English someone from the DPRK would learn, and the specific details (juche, taepodong), whilst not being out of the reach of even a small amount of research, are not exactly common or popular knowledge.

So, as far as we’re concerned, it’s genuine, and all the more frightening because of it.

We’ve sought advice on how to proceed from two sources:

The Kap’n: I called the UK Foreign and Commonwealth Office regarding this. Some Scottish call-centre worker just literally fobbed me off telling me that the FCO can’t advise on this.

Well – some Foreign Office that is, huh. When did the Foreign Office stop being the Foreign Office and start being the Travel Advisor’s Office?

scar3dycat: I called the South Korean embassy in London regarding this, and they were far more helpful. I went four steps up the chain of authority, and spoke to a very kind manager, who gave me some advice on what to do if ‘X’ contacts us again. She was obviously dubious that the messages were coming from within the DPRK, but after explaining some of the factors I can’t divulge here, she did begin to consider the possibility that ‘X’ had temporary internet access. I’m awaiting a call back from their office for more help.

Please read the addendum to this post and the second addendum before commenting.

Digg this!

Advertisement